Where is This All Going?
Where is this all going?Victoria's Secret's Pink line offers plush dress-up dolls.
It is amazing how much things have changed in only 20 years.
Currently, I take part in a men's group at my church on Tuesday nights. The group consists of 10 men along with the group leader. One fellow member, whom I'll call "Nathan", is only 18 years old. I've been getting to know Nathan, and spent an entire Saturday with him last weekend.
Nathan is a good kid at heart who wants to live a Christian life, but he's struggling. He's struggling in areas of purity and sexual temptation. Of course, all men encounter temptation in this area now and then. That's nothing new. (See Abraham, Noah, and Joseph in the book of Genesis). But what really blows my mind is the degree of temptation Nathan experiences as an 18 year old in 2007 compared to how things were when I was 18 back in 1988. A mere 20 years.
Some of the things Nathan tells me are unbelievable. It is incredible how brazen the girls have become. It is shocking to what lengths young women will now go to "fit in" or grab a boy's attention. Some of the things Nathan has shared with me shouldn't be repeated here.
Of course, every school generation (1940's-1980's) in the past had a girl (and guy) here or there who was promiscuous. Back in the old days, the girls were unfairly called "easy." But back then, you could still tell the difference between the easy girl and a street hooker. At least the easy girl still dressed somewhat modestly. Today, many girls who do dress like street hookers don't even realize it and would get very angry if you called them one. Now back in 1988, when I was a high school senior, girls were much more discreet about their injudiciousness. Granted, some of their clothes back then gave my grandparents a silligism. Fast forward two decades: Today, discreet is passé. In 2007, many girls are IN YOUR FACE and flaunt their bodies and debauched behavior whether you like it or not. 95 percent of the girls I went to school with would not have "gone wild" out in public. Some of them might be "going wild" today in their thirties, but that behavior would not have crossed their mind twenty years ago. Today things are different.
It would be easier for a man to simply turn his head if this wasn't coming at him from every direction. That is, if the man has some sort of spiritual life and wants to turn his head.
Nathan does have a larger hurdle to jump than I, his dad or granddad ever did. Today, not only does 18 year old Nathan have the temptation of internet pornography to contend with, but he also has to contend with many of his female peers dressing and acting like porno stars.
And the standards have changed too. What was once considered third base in 1988 is now first base. Thank you, Bill Clinton, for being a major factor in that change.
So, explain to me again how you boil a frog?
I once heard Dr. Laura Schlessinger say that it is women who determine the level of morality in a society. Women raise the bar and they lower the bar. Women set the standards, and men will go along with whatever standards the women consider acceptable. There's usually a small minority of exceptional men who don't follow the herd however. (Usually, except in past cases like Sodom and Gomorrah.) I don't want to make blanket statements about either sex. But generally, I do think Dr. Laura's statement is basically true.
Take a look at today's acceptable Halloween costumes for girls—GIRLS! Not just women, but young girls! Outrageous! What are parents thinking? I guess they're not thinking at all! Today's outfits are the very same outfits that strippers and prostitutes still wear to make money. How can a parent approve of their daughter wearing something like that? It's like throwing a baby seal in the shark tank.
Many women wonder why chivalry has died and men don't seem to have much respect for them as they stand in their closet trying to find the perfect pair of thong underwear that matches their midriff bearing top.
The pasted article below takes a look at the latest trends of attire for young girls and the writer, Karen Heller, calls it "the slutification of America."
To all the ladies who dress like dime store hookers—you need to know that not every man who sees you is impressed. Some men, more than you realize, think less of you when you dress in a sexually suggestive manner.
No one is forcing women to dress this way. We don't live in the antithesis of Afghanistan, where, instead of burkas, women are forced to wear skimpy outfits. The ball is completely in the women's court.
Sure, women can say that it's up to the men. "He doesn't have to look at us! He can turn his head or close his eyes!" True. But women know instinctively that men are visually wired which makes it more difficult, especially when over half the female population is showing off their curves. It's like parading cheeseburgers and pizza in front of someone who hasn't eaten for a week. When I was younger, I used to cut women more slack on their end of responsibility and I actually believed that women were just sorta naive and they didn't realize how they were affecting men. Now, I understand that most women know exactly what they're doing when it comes to how they dress. I should clarify that ADULT women understand what they're doing. A 12 year old girl doesn't have that understanding. Unfortunately, most 12 year olds consider Brittany and Paris to be their role models. Or their mom's wearing a low cut blouse.
Men like Nathan can get victory over lust and sexual vices. They must cling to the promise of Philippians 4:13, knowing that they're not alone in their daily walk. It takes a prayerful commitment. It also helps to join some sort of group where other men can keep you accountable.
Last Saturday, while talking to Nathan at Starbucks, I was telling him about how there are some Christian couples who actually wait till their wedding day before they KISS one another. Nathan, in all sincerity, sighed and said, "That's what I want."
Keep the Faith, brother. We're in this fight together. I got your back.
Here's an article by Karen Heller...
on www.philly.com
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Karen Heller | Naughty - and definitely not nice
They're sweet tarts, Lolitas-in-training with lollipops.
Young people may be shocked to learn that MTV began life as a music channel, one that aired a constant stream of videos with nubile women in scanty clothing.
Today, MTV is a "reality" channel featuring the appropriately named Hills and frisky bisexual and ultimate MySpacer Tila Tequila, her claim to fame being that she's an equal-opportunity tramp.
The music on MTV is now used to set the mood. Only the women in scanty clothing have remained the same.
Indeed, it's one of the few constants in contemporary culture on which you can depend. Another is a strange permutation of sartorial physics. As boys age, their clothes get baggier until their bodies disappear. As girls become teens, their attire becomes so small and tight to the point that the clothes disappear.
The holiday Victoria's Secret catalogue arrived the other day because nothing quite says Christmas like a Very Sexy® Infinity Edge™ Snow Leopard convertible push-up bra with Gel-Curve™.
How do we know it's Very Sexy®? Because it's written all over the bra, subtlety being anathema to the company.
A colleague immediately hid the catalogue of supermodels busting out all over, not so much from his 16-year-old son as his 13-year-old daughter.
A quick perusal through the 188-page doorstopper reveals marketing no longer directed at his wife but teen girls, if not tweens, contributing to what my colleague labels the continuing "slutification of America."
Victoria's Secret's Pink line, launched in 2004, has bloomed into a $1 billion brand. The company publicly promotes Pink to college kids, but dog prints, slumber party pj's, sweats aping soccer attire, camis and panties in ice cream-cone packaging suggest a decidedly younger demographic.
Have we mentioned that there are dress-up dolls "plush and pretty for the ultimate girly-girl?" Sure, that's what every college sophomore desires.
The catalogue features a "supermodel pj party," vixens in sequined bras and flannel bottoms - right, that frequent combo - without a cigarette, champagne bottle or Leonardo DiCaprio in the photo.
Pink is the Joe Camel of thongs. The line is advertised in YM and Teen Vogue magazines, which boast 12-17 aspirational demographics. The success is in the bottoms. All you need to do is count the number of teens with "Pink" plastered on their rears, the word in the VS world being more suggestive than simply being a "girly-girl." What kind of parents are paying for these clothes, which give strangers the pleasure of reading their daughters' keisters?
Going after a younger "Santa's naughty list" demographic is as logical as it is distasteful, the idea being that from the Pink sleepshirt it's just a few pages to the bustier and Brazilian panty.
Most teenagers like to shop. Many, sadly, want to appear older than they are at precisely the moment when their mothers' bodies are heading in a decidedly different direction, one more suited to Spanx slimming intimates than the Very Sexy® Infinity Edge™ Snow Leopard convertible push-up bra with Gel-Curve™.
Sometimes it seems as if the American Dream is all about trying to become something we're not and can never become, no matter how high our credit limit.
It's too bad that adolescence has become such a market-driven moment. Shopping shouldn't be what defines our identity, though, sadly, it often does. When parents have to hide a lingerie catalogue from their girls, you know a Very Sexy® shift has occurred.
Contact staff writer Karen Heller at 215-854-3586 or kheller@phillynews.com. To read her recent work: go.philly.com/karenheller.
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